Road Trips Are Magic
by Red Pen Ninja
Summary: Twilight and the gang head off for an awesome spring break at the beach! They just have to get there first... rated T for language.Warning: contains humanized ponies, fast food, and horrible driving.


"Can we stop now? I'm hungry!" cried Rainbow Dash from the backseat. For the past three hours, all she had been doing was complaining over every single thing from the boredom of the highway to the fact that Coach Spitfire still wouldn't let her on the track team.

"No, we have to hit Canterlot in an hour if we're going to make it to the beach before tonight," Twilight answered dully for the tenth time from the front seat.

The six friends had left Ponyville University early this morning, full of excitement and lust for spring break and their long-awaited trip to the beach, but after three hours on the road and three more ahead, their excitement was gone, replaced with irritability and restlessness.

"I, for one, would like to stop as well," Rarity piped up from the first bench, where she was seated with Applejack. "We simply have to switch drivers or I'm going to be sick!"

There was a murmur of agreement, from Dash and Fluttershy in the way-back of the car, Applejack in the middle bench, and Twilight in the passenger seat.

"What are you guys talking about?" Pinkie Pie chirped obliviously. "I'm a great driver!"

She lifted both hands off of the wheel as she pushed her oversized sunglasses up the bridge of her nose and pushed a blonde curl out of her way. The car sped up a bit as Pinkie's foot pressed harder down on the gas and the five friends clung to the seats.

"Why'd we take this car anyhow?" Applejack grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "We could've taken my truck like I said."

"But the catering van's the only car big enough for all of us," Pinkie defended, patting the dash of the van lovingly.

The others had to agree, the oversized white whale known as the Sugar Cube Corner catering van was the only one out of all six of their cars that could've ever driven them to the beach, even if it did have a half-broken side door, a dying engine, and said "WE CATER!" in big, gold letters basically all over the car.

"We could have driven separately," Rarity commented as she touched up her foundation for the seventh time this hour.

"But, uhm, it would…use a lot of, uhm, gas," Fluttershy pointed out in a whisper from her seat next to Rainbow Dash.

"My Porsche is most certainly _not_ a gas-guzzler!" Rarity harrumphed.

"Yeah, neither's the Mustang!"

"Oh yes it is, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight almost shrieked. "That car is horrible for the environment!"

"Environment, schmironment," Dash shrugged indifferently. "Can we stop now?"

"Can I drive?" Applejack asked, cradling her middle gently. "I'm gonna hurl."

"Oh no you're not!" Rarity shrieked.

"Fine, fine! Pinkie, get off at the next exit," Twilight conceded.

"I'll just get off at this one!" Pinkie decided, jerking the wheel to the right and sending the van leaning over towards the right lane with a groan.

Ignoring the angry honks from the cars around her, Pinkie sped up the car, flicked on her directional, and merged onto the exit ramp with a careless laugh.

"PINKIEEEEEEEE!" Twilight screamed, groping her seat for dear life.

"Relax, Twi, we're almost off the highway," Pinkie floored the gas one last time and sent them shooting up the ramp towards civilization.

"SLOW THE BUCK DOWN, PINKIE, THE DOOR'S OPEN!"

Lo and behold, the van's sliding door had flew open during the intense speeding and swerving, sending someone's bag flying out onto the highway, where it was promptly run over by a car. Wind and debris rushed into the car, sending papers and maps flying.

"CLOSE THE DOOR!"

"MY HAIR!"

"Eep!"

In a struggle against the forces of speed, gravity, and Pinkie's bad driving, Applejack finally managed to force the door shut. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief before going back to shouting about everything that went wrong.

"Whose bag was that? Everyone check your stuff," ordered Twilight.

"Dude, that was so awesome! Nice one, Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash whooped, smoothing her perpetually windblown hair back and grinning at her friend from the back.

"Nice one? But what about my hair?" Rarity fondled a frizzled curl dejectedly. "Pinkamena!"

"Aww, my full name, really, Rare? That's low," Pinkie pouted, eyeing Rarity from the rearview mirror.

"Ya'll better get that door fixed," Applejack advised. "If it weren't for me…"

"Oh, here we go," Dash rolled her eyes. "You just closed a door, AJ, you're not a hero!"

"Well, ah didn't see you doing anything about it!" Applejack argued smugly.

"Uhm, excuse me, Twilight?"

"Yes, Fluttershy?" Twilight ceased rubbing her temples for a moment to answer her friend.

"Uhm, that bag was mine," Fluttershy murmured unhappily.

"Never you worry, darling, I have plenty of clothes. You can borrow some of mine, all right?" Rarity offered.

"Everyone hold on!" Pinkie slammed on the breaks and the car came to a screeching halt in front of a half gas station, half Scoot-Fil-A.

"I'm driving!" Twilight called, snatching the keys from the ignition before anyone could protest.

"No way! You drive, like, so slow! I'll drive," Dash lunged over two sets of seats to swipe the keys from Twilight's hands.

"You're as bad as Pinkie," Applejack argued, taking the keys from her again. "I'll drive."

"Hey! I'm a good driver!" Pinkie crossed her arms defensively in the driver's seat.

"You failed the driving test twice, darling," Rarity pointed out.

"Aww, come on! You guys promised not to bring that up!"

"Just like you promised not to call me Rare?"

"EVERYONE! QUIET!" a voice shrieked from the back. Everyone turned to look at Fluttershy, who had shied away and shrunk against the seat.

"Uh, please?"

Twilight turned to look at Pinkie, "It's your car; you pick who gets to drive."

Pinkie's blue eyes flickered from friend to friend, "Uh, AJ, you drive."

"What? Pinkie!" Dash whined.

"Sorry, Dashie, but she beat you at the street race we had last week and she didn't crash into anything," Pinkie explained with a smile.

"I thought you guys stopped street racing! If my brother catches you…" Twilight scolded.

"We're not scared of him," AJ puffed out her chest bravely. "He's probably too busy with his new wife to police the campus anymore anyway."

Twilight's brother was a police lieutenant in Ponyville and he often worked around campus, but since his wedding, the friends had seen less and less of him on duty.

"Guys, eww," Twilight cringed. "Let's just go get food and hit the road."

The six clambered out of the van, one by one, with plenty of shoving and swearing before they all entered the Scoot-Fil-A and proceeded to stand in line.

"Guys, oh my Celestia, look at who's working the counter," Dash hissed, pointing towards a punk-looking, glaring girl leaning against the counter lazily.

"Is that Gilda? Ohmygosh! Let's go say hi!"

"Pinkie, do you not remember how mean she was to you?" Twilight asked incredulously

"I just remember that party with all those pranks. Classic!" Pinkie snorted.

"Can we, uhm, please go somewhere else…if that's okay with you," Fluttershy asked softly.

"But I'm hungry!" Rarity whined. "And Scoot-Fil-A is so good!"

"Eh, it's only all right," Dash shrugged. "The girl in the commercials looks like my little cousin."

"The one who's always following you around?" Applejack questioned.

"Yup. She thinks I'm amazing or something," Dash smiled smugly. "But at least she knows the truth."

"Okay, everyone decide what you want, we're next," Twilight interrupted.

"Do they have cake-flavored shakes here?" Pinkie asked, eyeing the menu scrupulously.

"No, just get food," Twilight ordered tiredly. "Time's up, we're next!"

"Welcome to Scoot-Fil-A, where…hey Dash, what're you doing here?" Gilda's face distorted into a nasty smirk.

"We're on a road trip," Dash answered dully.

"Yeah? Where ya going? Loserville?"

Pinkie stepped forward with a glare on her face, "You know, Gilda, we're not in some little kid TV show, you don't have to use TV-G-rated insults like that."

Gilda leaned forward threateningly, the tip of her hawk nose pressed against Pinkie's, "Listen Pie, if my manager wasn't breathing down my back, I'd take one of these straws and shove it…"

"ANYWAY," Twilight pushed through. "We'll have five chicken sandwiches, five medium fries, six drinks, and one salad."

Gilda growled one last time at Pinkie and went off to fetch their food.

"I wanted a spicy chicken sandwich," Applejack voiced.

"Oh well, put pepper on it," Twilight grumbled.

"Ouch, look out guys, Twibitch is here," Dash chuckled.

Rarity sniffed, "Come, Rainbow, I thought we agreed it was Bitchlight."

"Not uh," Pinkie cried. "It was definitely Twilight Sparkbitch!"

Twilight fished around in her purse for a twenty, threw it at Dash's face, and stormed outside, crying "Pay for it yourself, I'll be in Pinkie's rapist van!"

Twenty minutes later, after they had paid, made up with Twilight, distributed the greasy sandwiches, the gang was ready to hit the road.

"All right, is everyone ready?" Applejack asked. "Buckled in?"

"I don't have a buckle," Pinkie informed her from the back. "But I'll be okay. Dashie's back here, she'll protect me."

Dash rolled her eyes, "Yeah, it'll cost you a fry for my protection."

"That's not the point! Just drive, AJ," Twilight cried.

"Twilight, switch with me," Rarity ordered. "You already sat in the front."

"I'm navigator, I have to be up here," Twilight argued, buckling herself in as Applejack pulled the van out of the parking lot and towards the highway. "And it's too late now."

"Finally, we'll be at the beach in no time!" Pinkie settled into her seat with a grin.

"Yeah, as long as there's not yet another reason for us to stop," Twilight sighed.

The car fell into an awkward silence, save for the continuous munching of fries.

"Actually, uh, can we stop now? I have to pee!" Rainbow Dash cried.


End file.
